Energy vampires

That's what radiation treatments feels like: energy vampires!

Good thing I love garlic...and that it loves me back. Not that it helps with anything, I'm bloody tired all the time despite lots of rest and sleeping. It's a fatigue that never ends - those who have had or know about cancer know this. It's the Great Body Battle, the Internal War that doesn't end until it does. 

I look at old journals I used to keep when I had the farm, when a typical day would look something like this (exerpt from December 3rd, 2011):

•     Prep new chicken flock quarters inside barn for winter
•     Clean all baby chick condos
•     Remove cover netting from outside banty coop
•     Groceries
•     Hoover house floors (all)
•     Cook batch of grains for chooks
•     Make dinner & dessert
•     Email for egg run to city
•     Horse care
  
•     Dog care (meals, walks, grooming)

...this was just the stuff I wrote down and marked as done, nevermind all the "life" stuff that got in the way. And I still had energy at the end of the day.

Nowadays I pat myself on the back if I manage to do a load of laundry or wash my dishes. It's pathetic. 

This is the part of cancer that gets you... adapting to what you CAN do now and stop wishing you had the life you had before because well, it's gone. Crying about it won't bring it back. I won't lie, it's a long process and probably an ongoing one until the last breath. I don't know and I'm not ready to find out, by the way. Just guessing.

Happy weekend :)